wtf manz. It nearly happened to me again yesterday. Even though I wasn't moving anywhere. Felt my limbs becoming numb. And my right fist juz clenched up. What the hell? !$!@#!@#!!! I seriously hope that nothing is really wrong with me manz. Maybe a freak incident. Played LAN with JH, ET and Ken today. Couldn't really concentrate well. And this is the second time my com screw up. Played for 3 hours straight. Felt super uneasy after that. Was damn reluctant to go straight home. And thats kinda ironic, coz everyone just loves going home to relax after a day outside. Fuck this problem of mine. Its getting on my nerves....
haiz... For those who were wondering wad happened to me... I suddenly blacked out last saturday at 7pm... Kinda scary actually... I was in the kitchen drinking water from my cup. Then I suddenly felt breathless, and felt my heart slowing down. So I leaned on the wall. Then I found myself on the floor the next moment. Like what the hell? I dun even remember myself fainting and falling to the ground. Funny thing my cup wasn't broken when I saw it on the floor. So I when to see the doc. Good old doc decided to check my ECG.(think it stands for Elecro-Cardio-graph). It was then that the doc told me I had an abnormal ECG pattern. Like what the hell? I am onli 19, and my heart is abnormal? So the doc referred me to a cardiologist. Went for the check up yesterday. Did an ultrasound of my heart. Damn, I actually see my own heart beating... The results? Doc said that one of my heart valves is a little bent. But it is very mild, compared to other patients. So I dun have to worry about it. Doc said that the reason why I fainted was probably coz I had low blood pressure, and I stood up too fast from the chair. So...guess its kinda a sense of relief for me? Well and my parents too. They couldn't sleep the night I fainted... Haha, feel guilty for making them so worried... gtg.
I am feeling very scared right now. Not because of A levels now. Its something more important. Something very personal. And I feel so lost. And despair. I am so afraid for my life now, I am so afraid of what might happen to me. Why the hell is this happening to me? Wtf, I am still too young for all this shit. Why?? Why me? Someone please tell me I am just being paranoid... Please...
We celebrated National Day in college today. As usual, the school invited an ex-YJCian to be the GOH. This time, it is the Channel 8 news broadcaster. Well, also, as usual, the liondance team was part of the welcoming party, and I am the drummer, yet again. Haiz, wonder how the J1s are gonna survive without me as the drummer next year. =P Well anyway, went up to collect the Team CCA Distinction award, on behalf of me and Ronnie. Kinda screwed up anyway, had to ask the teachers why am I the only one getting the plague and not Ronnie too. haha... Hopefully there's one for him ba. After all, he's my dui lian partner for the competitions and performances. =) Well, this year the welcoming party did quite well. Unlike last year. In which the GOH went in the school without us noticing him. lol. After the prize presentations, the annual sports heats started. This time round, Admiralty House seems to be missing in action. There were no cheers from them, no fight in them, and half through the sport heats, the members juz slowly disappeared somewhere else. Not that I mind other houses calling us the losers though. We had no meetings, no gatherings, and no spirit la. Hell, we don't even know the cheers. Cheer for wad? Besides, all the leaders were MIA. Talk about commitment. Bull.
And... anyway, I don't know why the hell thinking of this now, but... Juz want to tell any readers here--If there is-- If you have found someone you really loved deeply, someone you would gladly give up your life for, cherish them always. Don't keep your love for them deep inside you. In the end, it only hurts you---and only you--- deeply. Cherish love. Feel it. Acknowledge it. But never ever reject or deny it. Through denial of love, you cease to be human. And denial, will eventually turn into regret. Never choose to regret... Love does not need to have regrets lingering behind...
hm. Yesterday was kinda a very crappy day to me. 3 very crappy things happened to me. First of- My bloody phone showed me attitude by not transmitting sounds when ppl calls me or I call them. In other words, I can't hear anything on the recieving end. 2nd- My specs broke when a ball hit me. What the hell... So new some more... Feels damn weird wearing a broken specs la. FINALLY- My EZ link card also showed me attitude. It decided to commit suicide the moment I entered the station. WHICH MEANS, I was trapped in the station, and no way to get out at boon lay. Wtf. Can't be a coincidence rite? Hell yeah it is.
