I am no longer whom I used to be... I am no longer as certain as I used to be, or as strong as I once thought myself to be... Everything seems to be in a standstill for me, and though I made it a point that nothing is an obstacle, unless I made it so, I can't help but feel whether I have been making the right decisions at all in my entire life.... Haiz... Juz becoz of one incident... One incident that changed the whole outlook of my life... That simply turned my whole life upside down... Is that what I really am now? Someone resigned to his own fate..? I have no idea what to think. Ah well... I guess part of growing up involves learning that everything changes. And that some changes are permanent. That nothing ever changes back... Juz came back from SISPEC yesterday, and I couldn't express enough how much I missed home. In fact, I missed everything that I had left behind. If there's any good in army training, it teaches you not to take anything for granted. Some things, when its there everytime, you don't really cherish it, until the day you realised that it has drifted far beyond your reach. In the whole course of my life, I have made many mistakes, some really regrettable ones, but I never learnt from them, thinking that it would not happen again. I guess I was wrong. Some of the past mistakes I made are finally coming back to haunt me, somehow chiding me that time has not really made me into a better person. I am still where I was when I started. Mistakes like finding faults with my brother, till the point now that he and I hardly talk, not cherishing the music lessons that I had, and many others... If given the chance to turn back time... ah what the hell, like its gonna happen anyway...

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