Denying reality. I pondered about this for a day already. Yesterday I was chatting with Tiffany online. Got onto the subject that everyone denies reality. Guess everyone does, at some point of his or her life. Some say that Truth hurts. It really does. Somehow it got me thinking of my life. It has been a miserable one this year. To tell you the truth, I hardly feel happy at all these days... I really do. There's nothing that really cheers me on, nothing that I felt was an achievement. Most of the time I have been feeling dissapointed than happy. Mom and Dad have been asking me this question since a long time ago: "What have you really achieved?" And everytime this question pops up, I have never really been able to come up with an answer. Why? Simply because I have not. What have I achieved in my studies? Nothing. Up till now, I have not gotten the kind of results that I really wanted. What about my passion for music? Twice I have attempted the grade 8 exam, and twice I have failed. I failed myself, I let down my parents. People tell me I have the talent for music, I have achieved much more than others, but I can hardly see it in me. Last time, perhaps, but not anymore. I feel as if music and me have been drifting apart for years now, and I can't feel the connection anymore. I have already quitted piano since the second exam. No point wasting my parent's money anymore. Haha... Just what the hell am I doing in Junior College? I passed my promos, but I hate my results. A retainee getting a C D O grade is laughable. Its shitty. And I am not happy with it. I am seriously not happy with my own life. haiz... So wad if I love wushu? I am not good at it. I am bad at teaching. I taught most people the wrong techniques in wushu. And I dun think there's any future for me that involves wushu. What am I going to do for my career? My dream of becoming a musician is very distant, I seriously don't know if I can make it to Uni. And I hate my personal life. I am so afraid of it now. Dunno wad to say now... gtg.

{-+-}