A chance meeting yesterday, and I have sort of looked forward to it. However, what I didn't expect was the strangeness that has crept in after so long. It was like there's no recognition at all, being so polite when it should not have been. Its like familiarity in its strangeness, more of an acknowledgement, rather than reunion. I suppose, its probably time to really let go, and look on ahead... Time have not done any good at all, and instead, further pulling open a gap that has been there for a long time already. Just like a boat drifting away from the shores, embarking on a long long journey, not even turning its head back once. Haiz... So sianz. Sort of reminds me of my past, when I always gave up at the most crucial moment, always giving the excuse of what will be, will always be. Haha.. Look where that have brought me to. Sometimes I wonder, did I really grow stronger? Or have I in fact become alienated from my inner self? Have I become a stationary stone, when I should have become the stream of running water? Have I really lost my way... when I should have at last found the hidden road in the jungle?

Sometimes, it really feels frustrating when you have really tried so hard, but nothing seems to be going the way you wanted. Sometimes, I really want to withdraw myself. Let myself drown. Heck care about everything. I thought I have found my path recently. Turns out it leads to another ravine in the jungle. And my chance meeting. It's just another slap on my face I suppose. What the hell was I thinking.. Heck, I keep telling myself to let go for the past 2 years. Turns out that I still harboured some of it deep down inside me. Ahahahaa... Screwed up myself there, didn't I? Haha... guess its back to the drawing board, then. Damn this pragmatic world we live in.

Sorry if this post seems too emo for your liking. Just like a woman having her pms every month, sometimes a guy also have to vent out all his frustrations too. Ah. I do feel better suddenly. Hahahahahahaa.....

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